March 22, 2013. The discovery of American Indians artifacts, and human remains were discovered in what is now France and Spain.
Carbon Dating and DNA shows these remains to be 50,000 years old. This stunning new discovery has turned the scientific world on it's head. Europeans are attempting to prove this is all a hoax, to no avail. Professor Dont'no of the University of Paris flatly denies the discovery, disregarding all evidence of it. Professor Dont'no was quoted as saying, ''They were savages, how could they discover anything'' as he ate a truffel.
Along with the artifacts and human remains a diary was found that details the journey from Turtle Island to what we now know as Europe.
Experts were able to translate the diary without much trouble since it was written in an language that seems to be the root language of European languages, Americaneese.
The diary details the journey from what is now NYC to prehistoric England. Upon arrival there and meeting the natives, the American Indians purchased it, in what would be today's dollars for $2 worth of tobacco.
After a short time, the Indians decided to leave England and head further into the unknown. The head of the ''Discovery Party'' Chief Long-Gone complained mightily about the food there. He is quoted as saying ''Mud Pie'' who in the hell would eat mud, must be a bunch of savages.
To help them in discovering the ''unknown'' the Indians enlisted the help of one ''Whitejaweah'' who acted as an interperter to bridge the gap between the much more advanced Americaneese and the local tribal dialects. As they pushed forward into the unknown they came upon people that were living in caves, half naked making gutteral sounds that they called a language.
The American Indians were appalled at the sight of this and noted in their dairy that the people were at best savages, without any redeeming qualities. To remedy this Chief Long-Gone set up schools for their children. Taking the children from their parents to teach them the Indian way. The motto became, ''Kill the Euro, save the child''..
Chief Long-Gone, after consulting with other officials declared that what is now England and Europe, was indeed discovered by Indians and planted the flag of ''All Native Nations',' declaring that he had discovered it and now it was part of the great Native American Empire.
Fast forward ten years and the recorded conversation between Chief Long-Gone and the elders. Chief Long-Gone stated, for the past years we have been trying to civilize these savages to no avail. There is nothing in this land that is worthwhile, no gold, no silver, nothing. The only thing that we have been able to teach them is to stand upright. It is my decision that we leave this worthless land and it's savages and return to Turtle Island where everyone is civilized, and all the trappings to make our lives comfortable again.
With that, the American Indians left and headed back to the ''Land of Milk and Wildrice''....
The last entry in the diary is ''Well we're home again, I think that our next adventure is to discover Asia''. Chief Long-Gone had heard about the land bridge going west.
This is the true story of the ''Doctrine of Discovery''...