I'm at my wit's end having recently discovered that my Mini Doxie, Wiki is a ''Stealth Farter''. The stealth farter is a very different breed then the normal everyday farting dog. Most dogs just fart and move on paying little attention to the blast of hot air that they have left behind them.
Not so with a stealth farter. They are very sneaky about it, and I believe that they enjoy farting and leaving you in the aftermath, stunned and looking for fresh air.
Case in point is Wiki, by all standards she is a little lady. She's loved by everyone and is always the ''hit'' of any gathering. Under that unassuming and super cute look is the heart of a mad gasser. Who would have thought that she could stoop to such lows!
This all came to a head, or rear end, recently when we had settled in to watch Thursday Night Football. Wiki loves her football with accompanying snacks.
The Giants were manhandling the Panthers and Wiki was in heaven. She has a crush on Eli Manning so this was her kind of game. Me, not so much. I like the Giants but wanted to see a competive game not the one sided one that we were watching.
The game was in the third quarter. Wiki caught a quick nap at half-time but was really into the game now. Just as I was taking a sip of an orginal Ojibwe drink known as ''black water medicine'' (coffee) it hit me. OMG the smell was overwhelming. My LA Z BRAVE recliner was in full recline and I couldn't get out of the darn thing.
Wiki, who sits beside me in my recliner at all football games had slid off the LA Z BRAVE as was walking towards the door. She has her own recliner, a LA Z WOOF but avoids it during football games. I thought that she wanted to snuggle next to me but I found out that she had sinister reasons for snuggling next to me.
As I fell out of the LA Z BRAVE gasping for air I realized that I'd been punked, or farted as the case may be. Wiki had done the unimaginable and farted without a sound.
I hollered out ''Wiki did you fart'' she just looked at me with that innocent look of hers as if to say, ''Me, I'm a lady and I don't fart''...I puff but never fart. Annie, our other dog, was lying on her Pendelton blanket. She loves the feel of wool, was giving Wiki a sidelong look.
I turned on the overhead fan, opened the windows and tried to clear the air as Wiki stood there with innocence wrapped around her like a blanket. Meanwhile, Annie had buried her head under her Pendleton blanket. Never the one to be obvious, she could no longer stand the smell and pushed a cork over to Wiki. The message was quite obvious.
It was then that my world came crashing down. My Wiki, the cute, lovable, friendly mini doxie was indeed a ''Stealth Farter''. The worry of every dog owner.
Watching football with the little fart will never be the same.
Right now I'm at my wit's end. I need advice from all you dog owners on what I should do about this. I don't like being gassed in the middle of a football game, but I love watching football with my Wiki and Annie
I'm wondering if this is an Ozark thing. She never did this is Nevada, at least not that I could smell...
Should I cut out her pretzels and beer at game time? Annie's advice was ''put a cork in it''...That could have dire effects. Wiki could explode.
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