Continuing it's fine history of invetigative reporting, radio station IMRED and tv station K-REZ star reporter, James Smells A Rat has managed to get an interview with senate hopeful Todd Akin.
The following is a transcript of that interview.
James IMFED - Mr Akin, as your aware your statement on ''legitimate rape'' has caused an uproar in Indian Country.
Todd - Indian Country! what's Indian country? Oh, I've got it now, it's those guys that run all the gas stations. I can't imagine why they would be upset.
James IMRED - No Mr. Akin it's not people from India. It's Native Americans.
Todd - Native Amerians, we are all native Americans, I don't think that all native Americans are upset over it.
James IMRED - No Todd, American Indians, as in Sioux, Apache, Navajo, Ojibwe, Cree etc.
Todd - Oh, sorry, you mean the guys in the movies that are always scalping poor settlers.
Todd - Circle the wagons, the injuns are coming, hide the woman and children. We're saved the Cavalry is riding to the rescue, ha ha ha, that's a joke James.
James IMRED - Yes, I know Todd. Did you know that Custer wore ''Arrow Shirts''? hahahahaha, now that's a good joke Todd.
Todd - Well young man don't make fun of one of the great Indian Fighters and hero's of the west. A true American.
James IMRED - Todd, Custer met his Waterloo at Greasy Grass..
Todd - Greasy Grass, you mean grass is really greasy. I didn't know that and I'm on the Science committee.
James IMRED - Yes, I understand that you are Todd, mind telling me your qualifications and how you ended up on the Science committee?
Todd - Well James I'm very proud of my credentials. I graduated from Bible School, and then went on to marry and produce children.
James IMRED - That's it Todd, that's all there is to getting on the Science Committee?
Todd - Yes James, it doesn't take much.
James IMRED - That's obvious Todd.
Todd - Say James, what kind of a name is ''Smells A Rat'', doesn't sound American to me. You are an American aren't you?
James IMRED - Yes Todd, I'm an American, Native America, American Indian been one for over 10,000 years.
Todd - Wait a minute, don't you guys wear towels on your heads? Oh, got it now, you wear feathers...hahaha, can't fool a science major.
James IMRED - Todd, let's get back to legitimate rape, can you explain that to me. Most of our readers are confused by the term.
Todd - Of course James, you're sure your American. OK, don't get pissy over it, us ''Real Americans'' have to make sure were not talking to the devil.
Todd - Well legitimate rape is when the woman fights back and is wearing a chastity belt. If she isn't wearing one then she's asking for it.
James IMRED - Let me get this straight Todd, she has to fight back while wearing a chastity belt!! Are you serious?
Todd - Of course I am James, (in a whisper) you know how ''those'' woman are, always claiming something that isn't true.
James - So Todd if a woman is beaten, assaulted and raped it's not a legit rape because she didn't fight back and wasn't wearing a chastity belt.
Todd - That's it James, happy to see that you understand it now.
James - Todd your aware that Native woman suffer the highest rate of rape and assualt of any ethnic group aren't you, yet you wanted to remove the protection that Native woman would get from VAWA.
Todd - Of course I was James, those Indians are not real Americans and you know that they are all ''easy'' woman.
Todd - James you speak English pretty well for a, ahhhh minority.
James IMRED - Well Toad I can thank my mixed heritage, my great grandmother was a ''White Princess'' and I guess that it's her side that I get my English skills from.
Todd - Well James, you can be very happy that your great grandmother was a ''White Princess'' I know that she was probably kidnapped by those savages and they raped her and held her till she died.
James IMRED - (sarcasm) Of course she was Todd, it's fits your definition so it must be true.
Todd - James do you speak Indian?
James IMRED - No Todd, do you speak Caucasian?
As James was being escorted from Todd's office he overheard the following.
Todd - What the hell is wrong with you people, setting up an interview with a savage, and he didn't even know what a chastity belt was.
CoH will apply as will the three B's. Be respectful. Be on-topic or BE GONE
Kavika 2012. All rights reserved.